4 Ways to Keep Life Normal in a Long Distance Relationship

It's been really hard for me with Zach being away.  I've asked a pillow if it needed more bed thinking it was Zach, I've woken up not knowing where I was, & I've had sucky days just because I've been missing him so much.  It's so hard! But I've realized I've just got to buck up & stop moping and try to remember it's only temporary.

This is the second LDR (or Long Distance Relationship) I've been in and I have to say that I am much stronger than I was in the infancy of my college experience.  I also have better expectations, more plans, & more to look forward to at this stage in my life which is why I believe that an LDR where I am right now will work rather than the childish one I had when I was in college.

Love is a funny thing that you have to take seriously at some parts & just enjoy at other parts.  Sometimes things are hard & if you both have confidence and if you're both comfortable with where you are in life, I think an LDR can strengthen a relationship.  No one ever likes it, but if it has to be done you have to get through it.  (Who am I to say though, I've only been doing this all of 3 weeks...but I'm just being honest here.)

I wanted to share with you a few things we've been doing that just sort of keeps us at this normalcy we had when were were in the same state.

Skype dates // Since we started dating we've been watching Stargate. The first time I ever headed to his house, we watched the feature film & then began to watch the series.  We're on the 10th season of SG-1 & are about to finish up.

Every evening after work we'd make dinner & watch an episode or five.  Now that he's gone, we want to keep some sort of normal routine in our lives.  So we skype & hit play at the same time.  This means we're just sitting in bed (like we used to do) watching Stargate.  I think it's important to make time to do this because it means we're spending time together even if we aren't saying anything to each other.  

Sharing & communicating // Since were aren't together, it's hard to get a read on how each of us is doing that day.  We don't come home to each other anymore so we sorta don't know how each other is feeling or even whats going on in our lives.  So we try to talk about serious things, things that we saw or did that day, etc.  Just to keep each other in the loop in our lives.

We've also discovered that being so far away means different weather (totally obvious right?).  Zach went for a walk on the beach after a storm & sent me loads of pictures of things he found.  He knew I'd appreciate it & even though I was sad I couldn't find all the crazy awesome stuff with him, it's something we did together sort of.

Encouragement // Zach has always been good at encouraging me but now that he's away he's really been talking about my bloggy stuff.  I know it's cuz he want's me to stay busy, but I like that he really takes an interest in the things I do with out him.  He's also really big into antiquing and going to yard sales.  So I always ask him if he's found anything else & encourage him to dig to find some awesome scores.  

Usually he's good at finding things himself.  I should say he's always good at finding awesome things himself so when he found an old apothecary set for only $20 bucks, I was super excited!  We both like different things when we are thrifting/antiquing but knowing what each other is looking for is fun.  Encouraging each other's tastes & collections, you know.  He even bought me a nice carafe/decanter thing because I've talked about how I love them so much!  He's also always kept an eye out for suitcases/traincases.  I always keep an eye out for books, tube radios, & other electronic things.

Keeping Contact // Sometimes we'll send each other texts of things we see.  Other times its a good morning text with an image of one of us asleep.  Sometimes it's a little note in through email.  Sometimes it's just a thinking of you text or what I'm having for dinner text.  Sometimes it's a 'this is really hard to do' text.  Just keeping communication open through out the day.

Even with all of these things it's been hard.  I find myself staying up later to chat which makes me tired during the day, sot it's really about balance.  I've found that the only things I can do now are buy mint chocolate ice cream in a big tub all for myself because Zach doesn't like it (and wouldn't keep it as an option at his house because then we'd have too much ice cream (lol)) & I can sleep in later because he's not waking me up at 7am.  But I think I rather share a flavor of ice cream we both like than have my favorite flavor all to myself.

Have you been in a long distance relationship? How did you keep up with each other? How did you make it work in the end?

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  1. You're doing pretty much everything we did. Joe got me really into hunting for vintage things and he'd go driving around taking photographs of pretty things he'd thought I liked. It really helped bridge that gap of the miles between us. Plus it's the little thoughtful things that helped me the most.

  2. My FI and I did long distance at first....actually the first half of our relationship was LD and then when I moved back he proposed. LD is hard, but with texting and skype and pic messaging it made it muuuch easier.


  3. loooove the idea of skype dates while watching a show, that's what i miss most about my man! thanks for this encouraging post!

  4. This is a great list. My husband (then-boyfriend) and I were apart for four years of our relationship and it was rough. This was before Skype was a thing, so we did all-cell phone conversations and it was not easy. I feel like all the things that you have in a non-LDR (communication, honesty) are there, just to a far greater extent.

    Anyway I'm rambling, but again, great list and good luck! :)

  5. I'm in a long distance relationship now, and it's hard, but my boyfriend and I made the choice to do it and so now we're sticking to it. One thing we have always said (which I think summarizes everything you've said above) is: I already knew I was attracted to him, but with long distance we now get to see if we can be friends and build up our friendship, which is going to last way longer than any puppy love attraction.

  6. I'm in a part-time long distance relationship. I met my boyfriend online and we Skyped for a month before ever meeting in person. It was interesting and finally seeing each other in real life was SO STRANGE. But really exciting, too! (I blogged about that if you're interested: http://little-tranquility.blogspot.com/2011/06/story-of-how-i-found-love-on-internet.html)

    Now that we live in the same place, he's still gone a lot because of work. He leaves for a month or so (to the other side of the world!) almost every other month and it's rough! But we definitely do everything you've listed and it's all really really helpful. It keeps things going strong!

    Skype is a wonderful thing! I keep meaning to send them a thank-you letter! I don't know if the distance would be as easy without it!

  7. I've been in a middle distance relationship for the past 18 months, and its not easy the boy lives 2 hours away and always has we've made it work by committing to both travel each way as often as we can. It hasn't always been easy and yes we did break up for a period of time but only because we didn't want to hurt each other by what was going on in our own lives. But we make it work by talking everyday on the phone, texting and sending photos that amuse us or just things to share our day. We are working on eventually changing this situation but slowly, he's my best friend, and we are making it work.


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