Just Life Lately, I Guess

So my plan was to come back to blogging full force here shortly.  I'd lost my voice and just all around sounded horrible for the past few weeks after being sick so I haven't uploaded andy videos.  I also felt like I've had all the ideas for the blog but I just can execute them.

Then something horrible happened - my little Emrys had to be put down on Saturday.  On Friday he was fine.  We even were hanging out on the porch finally enjoying the warm weather.  Then on Saturday morning he suddenly became weak.  I thought maybe he'd had a stroke or a seizure or something becuase he was breathing funny and when he walked he collpased.  After rushing him to the emergency clinic I found out that he'd had a mass around his stomach...and it'd had started to bleed.  He was weak from the blood loss..  With nothing done he'd be gone with in a few hours.  With aggressive chemotherapy, as it was probably cancer, he maybe had 8 months.  With the help of my family and Zach's I knew the best decision was to put him down.  To not let him suffer.  I said good bye to him one last time - they brought him in wrapped in the cutest teddy bear blanket.  I never expected not to leave with him.  Even though, in carrying him to the car and into the clinic....I knew that he wasn't in good shape, for whatever reason.  

After they put him down, I took him to Zach's parent's house in a little cardboard coffin.  We burried him, with his hamburger and his monkey, by the other family dogs out by the pond (one of his favorite places).

I can't believe that my family dog back in Virginia passed and then a little over a month later I lost my little guy.  He was a smart little dog, friendly, loved to play fetch, loved to swim, looooved to be outside.  And I really miss him.  If there is one thing I've learned though is that life continues on.  I never thought yesterday would end....and then I woke up this morning.  I will always remember that Friday evening where we spent 4 hours out on the porch enjoying spring.. 

So, needless to say, I'm going to be taking a break for a little while longer.  Just a little while longer.......just a little while.

xoxo, Moe


Renewing my Blogging Promise

So my little Spring Break actually turned into me taking pretty much the month of April off (it's only the 14th, but I really don't know when I'll be back) and I just wanted to pop on here and say I haven't forgotten you.....  I've been doing other things.  There was Easter two weekends ago, then this past weekend I went head first into painting the house (finally) ((Thank you to Zach's parents for helping!)) and I've just not had time to do much.  Which makes me sad.

First off, I treat my blog/youtube/etsy as a second job.  So I need time to devote time to it.  I'm just now discovering how to work in the time for it all.  I do make a little bit of money from this blog and my endeavors...not enough to be a full income...but here and there to reinvest in what I love to do.  I can't just not show up for a part time job, you know?  And if I don't invest time in it...then it doesn't grow.  So I'm feeling like I can't get up the quality content I'd like to right now...and honestly I'd rather not do it than half- ass it.  (Always use your whole ass people!)

So today I want to renew and expand on a previous blog promise:

I promise that this blog will always be honest.  I can't tell you I will always make the right decisions but I will always be honest.  I will post when there are affiliate links.  I will post when I was given something for free.  I will keep this blog honest.

I also promise to give you quality content.  While I'd love to be raking in the dough with this blog as a blog reader I've seen the changes that can take place when you suddenly turn into a bigger blogger.  I promise to take breaks when I need breaks (like now) to give you all of me.  I do not want this space to be filled with half-assery (lol), with posts that are fluff and just something I'm not feeling.  Currently, I have a ton of ideas that I just can't fully develop due to my mental state right now, the state of my workspace, and just priorities.  And I want you to know that I'm a real person outside of all this.  A real person that has dishes in the sink, is eating off the clean dishes in the dishwasher, pulling her clean clothes out of the dryer each morning, wondering everyday where her bra is, and just all around freaking out over the state of everything.

I'm real gosh darn it!

I promise to share things like this with you.  I promise to keep things real here.  I promise to keep things to myself as well...so if I'm not as active on Instagram, you'll know why.  I promise to share with you my creativity.

All around I just promise to make this place a real place.  

I really want to blog more.....but I think that I'll be back in May.  I will put up some prerecorded videos on my YouTube channel shortly (hopefully) but I'm just doing things right now.  A lot of things.  A lot of things I'd like to share with you but I just can't.

Love you all!

xoxo, Moe