I've been feeling a bit out of it lately.....it's a mix of life events & not quite loving my job right now. But I don't like sitting by & letting things happen to me. I've discovered that recently I'm really quite a control freak. This has come out more in the recent months & I'm trying to just calm down. I feel like I have days of just sitting by & days of just freaking out. So in order to gain a little bit of control over my life I thought I'd think of all the little things that make me happy especially now that the weather is getting warmer:
Front porch Sitting - it's been really rainy, gross, & muggy here lately so I haven't been doing to much sitting lately. But when I got these chairs (from Big Lot's, can you believe it?) I was sitting out there every evening. I think I need to throw together a Summer Reading list & get on it...suggestions?
Iced coffee drinking - I just got some brew over ice coffee pods for my keurig & if you've been skeptical like I was.....they are great! I love the Donut Shop flavor, tastes pretty much like Dunkin Donuts which is my fave Iced Coffee. Even brewing it over ice doesn't water it down. I've also got some coffee flavors that I'm going to find screw top pumps for. I'll have my own coffee shop going on this summer!
Trying new make up - Make up really makes me happy because you can be so creative. I now have the freedom to try new things here & there. I've found my favorite all over brand, my favorite blushes, & learned some new techniques from YouTube!
Yard sale-ing & Flea Market shopping with Zach - I can't wait to do more of this this Summer! I swear I'm going to update the vintage shop soon. We've got some awesome stuff...but I've just been very tired or very not myself lately. I need to get over it!
Beauty & Fashion YouTube videos - I watch way to many YouTube videos on make up products & fashion hauls. I love that YouTubers can tell you about a product & help you decide if you want it or not. You can search for your skin type, looks, etc & there is guaranteed a video on it. I've fallen in the rabbit hole. I'm watching YouTube as I type!
Hopefully I can keep the happiness around these parts & get to completing some goals. I don't feel like I've given up I just feel like I don't know what to do. I've always been able to balance these things: life, work, & dream. But right now I'm feeling like I'm overwhelmed & the most important things aren't getting attention: my dream.
I know I've said I'm going to keep working, I'm going to do this to meet my dream, etc but honestly I'm not. I'm putting it aside because I'm being lazy. I don't want to take a break, I don't want to stop, but I'm exhausted when I get home from work & I'm not feeling satisfied. Something has got to give. I need to apply for more jobs, but literally at the end of the day I just want to sleep....I don't want to do anything. This job is just exhausting & unfulfilling.
But I'm hoping my happy list & keeping sight on my dream will help me a little bit. Just a little.