So my pottery class has gotten back in to the swing of things & I can't wait to get my hands dirty more! We've had a few classes but my goal for this class is to just be better! I want to make bowls & more tumblers. I also want to make wide serving bowls & focus on glazing. I want to experiment more with shape too. I am so excited to be able to think about getting into my home studio! A girl dreams of these things & when they happen she kisses the man that helps her out & runs to play in the mud.
I am so lucky to have such a guy that is so supportive. I know he sees us as a team but I also appreciate that he wants me to be able to live a dream I've always wanted. He's said on many occasions that he wants to live in a house with me where we cook dinner served on plates I've made. How damn fairy tale ending is that?
Here is some inspiration from my Pottery pin board:
I love the look of natural clay & really dislike having to cover it up with glazes. But people buy things that are blue...at least that's what I've noticed. I loved my clear glaze combination, but that's not seen too much interest & I've been told I need to branch out (even though I don't want to). Recently, I tried a white glaze that really made the speckles stand out but I'm not sure I like it. Most recently I did a blue/green combo. We'll see how I like that.
I struggle a lot with knowing that I am good & have the potential to be great and then the seeming realization that my stuff is worthless. It is a struggle that I really dislike having with myself. I find myself on an emotional roller coaster of sorts. Where I wonder why I am even starting this in the first place, why I was even awarded a degree, & how the heck I could even imagine being successful? Zach has seem me question myself & wonder why the heck I am even thinking about doing this. It's been hard letting him see me feel weak. Then I have a break through in the studio & fall in love with something or meet a goal....only to be discouraged to the fact that I am still not good enough. I draw so much inspiration & come at it with high hopes that I fulfill, then look around and feel as if it's only been good for me.
Then I think, what does anyone else care? I am growing, I am becoming a better artist. Look at where I've come from! I try to remind myself everyday that even little progress is progress made. Then again I find myself envious of others...a word I don't like using to describe myself. I don't like to compare myself..it's not helpful...but I find myself wondering why I can't do the same thing others are doing. It's a low, low point & I feel totally worthless being envious. It's like a sinking feeling. I try to avoid envy & encourage others to do the same. I am getting better about not being green. I am sure if you look back on all the pottery posts it's a roller coaster of I love this! I suck at this! It's awesome! I'm a failure.
The one thing that is constant is that I just don't give up. I keep on trying. I keep on trying new things, I keep making, I keep listing, I keep trying. I've never been a quitter in fact my first sale was like 2 years after I opened my shop. It was something that I can't believe I even made, not related to ceramics at all! But trying has gotta pay off sometime right? I've been semi-successful with blog designs, crocheting, etc...but now I want it to be ceramics!
I have more pottery listed in the shop now, if you're interested in a lovely wheel thrown piece of serving ware. If you like blue, there's something for you...but if your a clay lover like me there are pieces where they clay shines through.
How do you combat inner struggles?